Last weekend, my MIL & I began talking about different stages in our lives and more specifically going from one step to the next and the feelings that are associated. This immediately got me thinking about a few times where I had become so comfortable in life that the thought of going forward had me dreading the future ahead of me.
The first time I remember being scared to leave my current phase & move on was middle school. I know most people loathe those years, but I actually have fond memories of the events & friends that encompassed those years. I can distinctly remember the last day of middle school involved many tears & fears, but what I didn’t know then was that I would relive these same feelings four years later when I graduated high school, then four more years later when my undergraduate years had come to an end. It’s silly to think that I thought my life would end after middle school (and high school & college), but to be honest I had just grown so comfortable in those periods of time that I wasn’t ready to move forward yet.
Even now, I'm back where I was 12+ years ago. Life is great, but at times (being the worrier that I am) my mind begins to wander ahead, knowing that life will soon change again, most likely once we start having children. And while I know that will be a wonderful time in our lives, I can't help but wonder if I will mourn the loss of this time that Sam & I have had just the two of us. Only time will tell I suppose.
Regardless, I do know I shouldn't dwell on the feelings of loss that may be ahead, but rather live in the moment & enjoy this particular chapter in our lives. And it's not hard because I can easily say that the last two years of my life have, hands down, been the best thus far and I can't wait to see what's ahead for us, both good & bad!
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