Two

To most, this is just another day, but for us, it marks two months since we met our baby girl. And in 9 days, it will have been two months since we said good bye.

I apologize if I sound like a broken record, but some days it's all I can think about.  At first, all I could do was make it through the next hour.  Then it was trying to make it through the day, followed by the week, and now month to month.  Sure, a hard day happens and I go back to trying to make it through the hour/day/week again, but I am finding these month milestones have become necessary in my healing, like "if I can make it to the 12th or 21st of the month, then I have accomplished something."  Especially when we're thinking of the future ahead of us.

Today also held an appointment with our genetic counselor for the first time since last October.  Not only did she have piles of information for us, but she also had a listening ear & a caring heart.  She walked us through different options in regards to testing & future pregnancies and I went away feeling a little better than when I walked in, which was a big prayer going into the appointment.

In the end, regardless of what option we choose to go with, I am beginning to feel like life might one day be okay again.  Will that day be tomorrow?  Probably not.  Will it be next month?  I don't know.  But what I do know is that we grew an amazing little girl who touched a lot of lives and will be in our hearts forever, no matter what path we decide to go down.  And that's enough to keep me going towards next month.