What I Know Now

This is adapted from an idea I received from my mom last year. She took a class that was based on the book "What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self", which compiles letters from women sharing their current wisdom to their younger selves. Through the class, my mom was asked to write a letter to a younger version of herself, which would be read by a local actress at a charity event the next month. I ended up being in town the weekend of the event and was able to accompany my mom to this moving event. I hope I can share the idea as well as my mom did with me.


Dear Meaghan,

At nine years old, you are a social butterfly who feels more alone than she's ever felt before. Of course, you didn't see it coming, I don't think anyone really does, but divorce has the unfortunate ability to flip your life upside down without a moment's notice.

Your parents just gave you the news. You (naively) thought that they might be telling you and your brother that we were all going somewhere, like a trip, however your dad was the only one leaving this time. The days immediately following will have you watching your mom hide up in her room and cry herself to sleep every night. You won't know what to do, but you will tell her it will all be okay, even if you really don't know yet yourself. While you wish you could hide out for the rest of your life, eventually you will have to get out of the house and face a world you know nothing about, but life will go on. That I can promise!

Within a year of the divorce, your dad will remarry, have his third child, and move 3,000 miles away. This will begin the roller coaster I refer to as "your relationship" and it will be anything but a smooth ride. However, your mom will do everything in her powers to give you the life she always dreamed for you. She will be at every conference, dance recital, sporting event, and choir concert without a moment of hesitation and always with a smile on her face. You won't see eye-to-eye all the time, but remember that you and your brother are her whole world!

There will be several times in the next 15 years that you will wonder what life would be like if your parents were still together, but you will come to realize that your mom is right when she says, "everything happens for a reason". It won't be easy and your trust issues will surely rear their ugly head, but remember if you ever have to ask yourself, "am I good enough?", the answer will always be yes! Just listen to all the family & friends who tell you every day!

Love,
me.