Friday, January 22, 2010

Ups & Downs

Lately, my emotions have been out of control! One minute I will be happy & smiling and then next my eyes are welling up with tears & I can’t get them to stop. And all because of what? Honestly, I can't pin point a specific reason at the time, but there has been some big changes happening around me that may be the root of my range of emotions.

First, my mom has been talking about moving back to California for as long as I can remember. She originally moved to Oregon for my dad's job, but when the divorce was final, she couldn't bare to move us away from our friends. Now that both my brother & I are out of the house and an awesome job opportunity has come up for her, she is finally moving back to where she grew up. Unfortunately for me, this means she will now be over 10 hours away, instead of the 2 or 3 she's always been. Of course I don't blame her for moving because she is finally doing something for herself, but that’s not to say it isn’t making me sad to know that she won’t be in the same state any more.

Secondly, while I do have a job that I enjoy and am using my degree with, there has been quite a bit of movement due to the economy, which has left me feeling a little lost and confused at where I belong. I am usually still doing what I was hired to do, but with the shift in positions & departments, I find myself searching for where I fit in, ultimately leaving me frustrated when communication falls to the ground.

Lastly, there is the weather. The months of going to & from work while it’s still dark. The days & days of rain. The winter blues. Most of the time I can brush it off, but I feel like it’s hitting me harder right now than in the past, reflecting in my mood & emotions.

I'm hoping this all passes soon, but until then, I simply need to remember that I am happily married, I have a job, and I'm healthy, and hopefully these ups & downs will find a way to leave me alone. Until then, at least I have somewhere to express myself - thank you for listening!


  1. I feel your pain. Short dark rainy days are the worst.

  2. I hear ya, girlfriend! This nonstop monsoon is enough to get anyone down! Definitely been feeling blue(r than normal) these past two weeks!